Last Saturday, I had the opportunity to attend the first ever E! Bloggers Ball here in Cebu. It’s a gathering of creative bloggers, and other social media influencers; an event sponsored by Ever Bilena. I was so thrilled when I received the invitation and I’m beyond thankful that I was chosen to be a part of it. I can still remember when I started blogging a few years ago, I wished that I would be able to attend an event like this. And years later, it finally came!
Weeks before the event, I already prepared everything. I had a dress made and I already booked my favorite make-up artist. There were a lot of images going on in my head, imagining the possibilities that could happen at the event. Nevertheless, my excitement was over the top!
The day finally came, and I thought I was going to be late, but I arrived a little early. I didn’t know anyone in this social gathering, so I had a hard time sinking in the fact that I had to interact with strangers. I remember I was just standing at a corner while looking at people coming in. And then boom! I realized that everyone there knew everybody. Somehow, all of them were already connected. I was texting with my sister and she kept on telling me that I should start talking to someone. There were a lot of circles of friends and I remember I would come close to a circle, waiting to jump into their conversations but somebody in that group would look at me in a weird way so I would step back because I didn’t want them to think that I’m so epal. HAHAHA. It went on for a while but every time I would see a window for me to start a conversation, somebody would just shut it down for me. I still kept my smile nonetheless and some even smiled back but some would just snub at me. HAHAHA. I went back to the post where I was first standing, and I just circled around it hoping that I would find someone that I could talk to. After an hour of waiting (because they didn’t let us in the ballroom yet), I saw a young boy going through his phone and the Ever Bilena merchandise table. I knew right away that he was just alone. I immediately went to him and started a conversation. His name is Ghemmdy, a 14-yearold make-up guru on Instagram. He’s like the Bretman Rock in the Philippines. He’s so sweet and kind, we were together the whole event and I wouldn’t have survived it without him.
I wish I could say that I met a lot of people and that it was a fulfilling event for me. However, it was quite the opposite. I remember coming home feeling a bit empty. I kept asking myself “Was that it?” because instead of feeling fulfilled, I felt like something was taken away from me. Truthfully, the whole week I got so depressed and scared. Depressed because it was a dream come true, but it didn’t satisfy me; scared because I still have a lot of dreams that I want to pursue but now I’m just scared that it won’t fulfill me. I lost a sense of purpose.
But I realized that events where stature and worldly success are highlighted are activities that I will never ever belong to. I am not of this world, so my heart thirsts for something greater than what this world offers. Only events that are in line with God’s will in my life will give me joy and satisfaction. Other than that, will only bring emptiness and destruction.
How about you? Have you chased something that wasn’t satisfying?
“If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world.” -CS Lewis
PS: But I was also blown away by the generosity of Ever Bilena to sponsor an event as big as this one. The same goes to E! Philippines for hosting this event. I’ll never forget this experience. Thank you so much!
HMUA: Ryle Young
Dress by: Philip Estocoda