Beyond Our Dreams

by micah
Does Being Single Mean You’re Lonely?

Does Being Single Mean You’re Lonely?

As I was writing the “About Me” section on my blog, my 12 –year-old sister sat beside me. When I was typing the words “Hi! My name is Micah Sarceno. A 24-year-old…” I heard her say “Single.”

 

Me: What? Why do I need to put that?
Ella: Just in case somebody who’ll read it wants to be with you.
Me: Huh?
Ella: How will they know you’re single if you won’t put it there? I want you to have a
boyfriend already!
Me: Why?
Ella: Because you’re so lonely!

 

I paused while I was trying to reflect on what she said. Am I really lonely? I’m not going to lie. Sometimes, I feel that I am. I do wonder what it’s like to have someone to talk to other than my family and my friends. Someone to hold, someone to share everything with, and someone to love. Most of all, I wonder what it’s like to be loved.

Don’t get me wrong. I know that I am loved by God and my family, but I do believe that God has put a desire in us to love and to be loved by a significant other. Adam didn’t find a suitable helper in the form of animals and that’s why God created Eve. So, I grew up thinking someone out there was made specifically for me. But, where is he now?

When you’re 24 and still single, you always get asked a lot about your relationship status. None so far is my constant answer. When you get those kinds of questions a lot, you start to get frustrated. They make you feel that being single at 24 is not right and I have to do something about it. It even got to the point when I asked God “Is there something wrong with me, Lord?” And even questioned the future “Will I ever get married, Lord?”

When my sister told me that I was lonely, there was a sad vibe that went into my body for a few seconds. But God took it out immediately and replaced it with memories. What kind? Memories of when I was just alone- driving in the car, working in the office, sitting in my room. And what was I doing during those moments when I was all by myself? Singing. I was singing to the Lord. Happy songs, comforting songs, and assuring songs. I laughed, I cried, and I felt assured.

In those moments of aloneness, God never failed to reveal Himself to me. I’ve realized that there are somethings in life that you can do and have only when you’re single. Do I ever get jealous of others? Of course! Do I want to have what they have? Definitely! Will I trade those years of singleness for a relationship? Absolutely not. Singleness is the best stage of your life. Treat it as a gift from and for God.

Single? Yes!

Lonely? With God, never.

24 thoughts on “Does Being Single Mean You’re Lonely?”

  1. It’s quite comforting to know someone feels the same way I feel. At 27, my best friends are getting married and some are starting a family. Yet here I am, still single. There are days when I feel so insecure about it (and I think its cos of society/single shamers), I even asked myself if I am too picky, but having the Lord as the author of our faith, we know that He is always in control of every thing and in His perfect time, He will give us our heart’s desire. Let’s bloom where we are planted. Continue encouraging others. God bless!

    1. Hi Khane! This is the first comment on the blog ever. Thank you for taking the time to read it and I’m so happy that it brought comfort to you. Indeed, God is in control of everything. All we have to do is trust Him. 🙂 God bless!

  2. Wow!!! Praise God sis and thanks to this… It is so timely ever. The Lord will not withhold anything good for us .But for the meantime our singleness is allow by God for Him to be most glorified in all aspects of our lives. His timing never leads us behind, instead it leads us to eternal glory and greater divine appointments. Real single godly woman deserves a godly single man after God’s own heart. A relationship that honours God and marks a Spiritual legacy to the eyes of many.
    P.S: Contentment and patience are a virtue.

    1. “But godliness with contentment is great gain.” -1 Timothy 6:6 is one of my favorite verses. God will always give His best. 🙂

  3. Same here. When people around me keep on asking why I am still single, I don’t know exactly what to say. I just keep on telling myself I should not get pressured. I have all the time in the world and… God is there. I just know He always have the best plan for me. Maybe we don’t understand it yet by now, but surely, someday we will. May we always have the strength and wisdom to understand the lessons He wants us to gain while in the process. For now, ny prayer is that He will help me focus on Him and enjoy being Single for Christ 😊

    We all have our own time zone anyway. God bless us all 😊

    1. The pressure is real, right? It’s discomforting sometimes. But let’s just remember that it doesn’t matter what people would say about us, what matters is what God would say to us. 🙂

  4. Oftentimes, I feel like it’s wrong to be still single at 23 because others always ask me about my boyfriend. When I’ll answer, that I’m single, all I got is a pouting and questioning face from them. But still I smile back at them.

    We don’t have anything to worry about, ‘coz we know in God’s perfect time He will send the right one 😉

  5. Alone but not lonely. That’s one motto I have in my single life. But I really don’t feel lonely at all. God’s always here. Even my family and friends too. There’s no rush in love, it just comes around. Friends would say “when are you gonna have a relationship” or “you’re still single? You’re old already, you should have one” and whenever I reply, they’ll just tell you, “it will come, in time” do they just want me to rush or take it easy? Lol. But this is a good read though. It reminded me of my single years up until now lol that whatever it is, God will always have His way.

  6. True! Being single at 24 or even up to 35years old is not a stage that we are to be lonely. In fact, we should be proud of it because we have a big time for God, for our family, friends and for ourselves. This is also a measure of our patience to wait for our God – given partner.

    1. Singleness is a gift that we should be grateful for. God will work many things through us during this stage. 🙂

  7. Sometimes we tend to entertain strangers from our chat box specially when the guy was exceptional at first. Hahaha Honestly, it was my experience and now he’s like invisible guy. So, my point was even though we’re single fir a long time, we should not rush ourselves looking for a partner. It will come at the right time because I believe that everything has it’s own time and season. I’m already 24 right now and been single for almost10 years but happy and free to do whatever I want.
    #patientlywaiting❤️

    1. It’s funny cause I think one of the reasons why I’m still single is the fact that I don’t entertain strangers from Facebook at all. If I don’t know that person personally, I’ll never accept the friend request even if we have a lot of mutual friends. 🙂

  8. Its nice to be single when you believe that God will eventually reveal youre othere half in his perfect time . 😇 nice article.

  9. I’m 21..still young and feel the same.
    It’s disappointing sometimes, but I know he has a plan.
    Jeremiah 29:11..

  10. Hi. Im 24 and single too. Sometimes i feel lonely but i thank God that He gave me real friends and a loving family who are always there to support me and makes me happy..Yes sometimes i envy my friends because they have their own relationship with somebody. But i always keep on my mind that God has a better plan for me in the near future. 😊

  11. I’m one of those girls who are hoping to meet my other half soon. Being single is okay because I know that God has a perfect plan for me. I believe that while I am not committed yet, He is training my man to be the best guy for me as well as He is preparing me to be the best girl for my partner to be.

  12. Thanka for this.. ako kasi I’m 29 years old na Single parin haha. May time talag na I feel may kulang but I know God has better plan than me.. His perfect time is the best .

  13. hi!me too ..single for morethan 10yrs… dti ok lng na single…pro at my age now na 27 minsan nakaka lungkot kc may time tlga na gusto mo ng makausap yung maiintindihan ka yung i cocomfort ka tapos yung friends mo di pwdi mnsan kc may knyaknya ng family…tapos ikw Single?nakaka insecure pro tinanaggap ko nalng sya in a positive way and i hve faith in God… na balang arw he gave me a man that deserves my heart…😊

  14. 1 corinthians 7: 32-38 says,
    …the unmarried man is anxious for the things of the lord…, but the married man is anxious for the things of the world…and he is divided. Further, the unmarried woman as well as the virgins is anxious for the things of the lord .. However, the married woman is anxious for the things of the world.. But i am saying this for you not to restrict you but to move you to what is appropriate and to constant devotion to the lord without distraction. But if anyone thinks he is behaving improperly by remaining unmarried and if he is past the bloom of youth, then … Let him do what he wants he does not sin, let him marry. But if anyone stands settled in his heart and has no necessity…and has made the decision in his own heart to remain unmarried, he will do well. So also, whoever marries does well, but WHOEVER DOES NOT MARRY WILL DO BETTER.”

    -this bible text reminds us that there’s nothing wrong for being single. Hence, the bible gives more appreciation to those who remain single while using their singleness in doing God’s will.Until God in the right time will give what our hearts desire.
    As of now ” Remember our Grand Creator in the days of your youth before the days of distress come..” Ecclesiastes 12:1.

    **just sharing. Thank you.

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