2019 was probably the hardest year of my life. I was tired. I’ve never been so challenged physically, emotionally, spiritually, and most especially mentally my whole life. God kept on breaking me down, and just when I was about to get up, something else would come up, and I was back at the bottom again. I was drowning from a lot of emotions, and I started to feel insecure again.
People around me expect so much from me, and I felt like I wasn’t allowed to show any weakness. Therefore, I had to put a strong facade, but on the inside, I was screaming, “Give me a break.” I told myself, “This too shall pass,” but months came, it never did. As time went by, the more painful things were getting. Tears in the bedroom, in the bathroom, and even in the car somehow became a norm. If not for the Bible, I would have given up. Thank God for His comfort and His love.
When the year was ending, Ezra and I booked a ticket to Japan. I told myself that I needed a break from everything that’s happening in the Philippines. Maybe, just maybe, Japan will heal this broken heart of mine. The idea of traveling excited me. It’s probably the best way to start in 2020. We stayed there for five days. And although it was a fun trip, I still felt empty when I came back home. I realized that no matter where I go, or no matter how much I try to escape reality, I really can’t escape from my thoughts. Even in my sleep, I couldn’t avoid it. It’s a struggle that I have to face every day, and by God’s grace, He is slowly fixing me. I’m not 100% whole yet, but I’m getting there. I’m holding on to God’s promises, and I lean on His plans. May His will be done in my life.
Below are the photos from our quick trip to Japan. I hope you’d enjoy it. 🙂